Hateful vs uneducated

There is a huge difference between someone being hateful and someone being innocently uneducated. It seems far too many have lost sight of the difference. Which is a bit ridiculous considering the first are a very different set of people. We are losing valuable allies for any minority by out casting the uneducated as being hateful.

An example of being uneducated:

I was talking through some visual ideas for a post that will go out when the charity is official. Now the guy I was talking to is incredibly supportive of the autism community and a kind-hearted dude.

Me: Hmm I think I need something visual for this part.

Him: Why not the puzzle piece?

Me: …why would I use that?

Him: Because it’s used to show everyone has a place and deserves to fit in.

Me: That’s actually not what it means to a lot of people. Most autistic adults find it offensive as it is used to show we are lacking something and not complete by ourselves.

Him: Oh my god. I had no idea. I thought it meant everyone belonged somewhere!

As soon as he said the puzzle piece, I knew he didn’t know it could upset/offend some of the autism community. He had no idea and now feels bad about having suggested it. Which he shouldn’t.

I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago. I am a proud member of the LGBTQ community. I found out saying something a certain way caused offense and hurt. It hit me because I had been saying it that way for years and had no idea it could upset someone. I started thinking if anyone had seen it and thought I was against parts of the community.

The fact is I didn’t know. The dude kindly helping me talk through ideas didn’t know. There is a huge difference between people knowingly and hatefully offending, and those doing so accidentally because they didn’t know. The first port of call, like with the dude in the example, should be to educate. Obviously, education only goes so far but it should be the go-to option unless you have reason to believe they are trying to offend.

There has to be a difference between the two. We have to react differently to the two. Being uneducated is not the same thing as being a hateful person wanting to hurt someone.

The uneducated are likely allies. Don’t drive them away by not stopping to kindly educate them.

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