You can’t please everyone
My whole life has consisted of being misunderstood. The most common trigger for my meltdowns is being misunderstood. When my boss accused me of having no empathy, I hit meltdown. When people think I am acting selfishly, I am quick to hit meltdown. The irony is in others miss judging my intent they often push me to act the way they are accusing me of. I choose my actions, they are sometimes miss judged, being miss judged means I lose control and am judged further for actions out of my control. I can not begin to tell you how often this happens. I am then a situation of pleading with the accuser to judge me on my first intent and not on what happened after I got confused and lost control.
Now do not get me wrong oh so cruel internet. I am not saying I am perfect. I am a long way from perfect. Nobody is perfect. But generally, I mean well. I have always had one resounding life goal: to leave the world a better place than I found it. I never thought that would take the route it has, with these blogs. I just wanted to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good sister. Never perfect but striving to add kindness where I can.
A few times recently the internet has done its thing. I’m left defeated and wondering what I did wrong. Wondering if I’ve upset people and thus getting upset myself because I would never mean to upset people. Especially not those in the same community as I. We are all entitled to our opinions. As long as they don’t take away human rights, then people are free to think and see things as they wish.
As my platform gets bigger and my memoir is released soon, I am left questioning my words. I often put disclaimers at the top of blog posts. I’m not a professional. Well I am, in accounting, but I don’t think you guys want accounting advice! I’m just someone who is autistic and started sharing my experiences. You guys took to it, saw value in it and I continued. I do not speak for all autistic people. And my word is not gospel.
As part of me wants to push down any opinions and try and toe the line to please everyone I push back to remember you literally can’t please everyone. You guys took to my blog posts because they are raw and honest. I will continue this way and my memoir is certainly that way.
I guess I need to find a way to toughen up a bit to the internet. Preferably before the memoir is released and everyone has my life to judge even further!
Not everyone likes Harry Potter so there really is no pleasing everyone huh!?
To all those supporting me I see you and I am as thankful to you as you are to me.
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